"S-surely it's little surprise that I would struggle so." He tried to keep his tone light, the effect ruined by the thready sort of edge to his words brought about by that self-same pain, by the strain of resisting the flood of aether that would inevitably spell his end. He was skilled enough that he recognized a point of no return here, knew that he was well past it at this point, but at the same time couldn't stop himself from holding out as long as he could.
Knowing that at the moment keeping his feet was beyond him, he used his grasp on the railing to ease himself to sit with his back against it instead, trying to pretend he wasn't shaking, like light-tainted tears weren't painting searing lines down his face as he considered the ascian as he drew as close as he dared.
"What... will be done with me?" Would he be unleashed on the others? Would he be hidden away so that the Scions couldn't find him to somehow figure out a way to stop this? Mikka wasn't sure which made him feel worse. He found himself afraid. Deeply so, not that this was a new thing, but unlike before there was no comfort to be found in the potential to help others should he forge ahead regardless. No expectations to make him feel obligated, no easing of suffering. Oh no, when he did let go as Emet was gently advising, all that would come for those around him was suffering.
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Date: 2020-11-09 07:27 pm (UTC)Knowing that at the moment keeping his feet was beyond him, he used his grasp on the railing to ease himself to sit with his back against it instead, trying to pretend he wasn't shaking, like light-tainted tears weren't painting searing lines down his face as he considered the ascian as he drew as close as he dared.
"What... will be done with me?" Would he be unleashed on the others? Would he be hidden away so that the Scions couldn't find him to somehow figure out a way to stop this? Mikka wasn't sure which made him feel worse. He found himself afraid. Deeply so, not that this was a new thing, but unlike before there was no comfort to be found in the potential to help others should he forge ahead regardless. No expectations to make him feel obligated, no easing of suffering. Oh no, when he did let go as Emet was gently advising, all that would come for those around him was suffering.